The third category comprises of people who I just can't make my mind up about. Most of the time, we are friendly, but sometimes, there is a small suspicion that they have a problem with me. Of course, it is doubtful that anybody's personality is flawless, but surely it is better to let someone know about their faults so that they can either reflect and evaluate, or tell you to " go forth and multiply" in strong language, perhaps with violence for added effect.
Remaining silent has its obvious advantages. Most do not like to have their personality analysed and ripped apart, and most do not like to inform other people about their defects. After all, it is better to keep more friends than to make more enemies (or is it - perhaps a subject for discussion in another blog post). It can't be guarenteed that people will always see or consider your point. Consider the following senario:
Person A, "Hi, how was your weekend?"
Person B, "Just go away. You're so nosy. Either that or you're really egotistical and want me to ask about your weekend so you can brag about how fast you drove your new car."
A, "Just trying to be friendly. I won't make that mistake again."
(Pretend for argument's sake that A is egotistical and B doesn't like it)
I would doubt that these two characters (not based on real life people) would ever be friends again,
UNLESS...
A saw that B had a point, understood B, and was less nosy / egotistical in front of B. Likewise, if B thought about what he/she said, they could come to an understanding and be friends again.
But suppose that A and B after this conversation were enemies for the rest of their lives. They would probably avoid talking and would never even try understand the other person's opinion. At least if they were fake and friendly, they might have sustained a longer period of "friendship".
The key is understanding. And how are we to understand if people are fake? We mean well when we do not flaunt our opinions of others to their faces, but suppose any criticisms could be taken constructively and that both sides could learn. Then, they may better understand one another and come to an agreement - to like or to dislike the other person. I, for one, would rather know where I stand with somebody than be content with the fact that they respond politely to smalltalk.
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